So, this news is just as random as it is for you, than it was for me. But as the title implies, apparently, Parra’s planning to get their own city beach. And no, I ain’t talking bout the twelvie store ‘CityBeach,’ aka the one that always smells like fake sand, has racks upon racks of bright neon Roxy swimsuits and never seems to stop selling those overly chunky DC shoes circa 2008 (yea, u kno the ones). I’m talkin’ bout a beach beach. Aka one with real sand, where you can relax, lie down and bask in the sun. Don’t think it’s legit? Well check out this artist’s impression of the future city beach along the Parramatta River I stole (along with the original story) from Parramatta advertiser lol.

Looks heqtiq ay. According to the article, Parra council’s going to transform Parra river, which is if you’ve ever visited: dirty, smelly, and always full of condoms ew, to this super relaxing, umbrella filled, clean and modern bankside. They also claim to have a strategy to bring the river to life with paddle-boats and kayaks, an open plaza, mini parks, terraced seating and activities such as outdoor cinemas. Eshays brahhhhh. But why the hell in Parramatta you say. Of all the places!? Well, tbh, Parra’s been steppin’ it up HEAPS lately with numerous developments, and if they’re going to transform that nasty ass river to our own little Bondi in the west, then I sure ain’t gna question them! As far as I know, if it’ll save me the 1.5-2hr commute that it normally takes me to get to the beach, then I’m all for it!

Parra river currently                                                                                                                                                                 Source

Parra river future prospects, including pedestrian plazas and terraced seating                                                          Source

But before you get all excited all you lads and lasses out there, I have some TERRIBLE news… The plan is being looked at from the perspective of a 30 year time frame. And let’s be real, if it’s a development in the west, you’re looking at it being unveiled during the thirtieth year at the earliest. Ugh. Was too good to be true right. At least that now gives you an extra 30 years to work on your Summer body? So once you’ve hit 50 and the beach is finally finished, you know you’re gna fkn slay when you walk down the bankside in that bright neon Roxy swimsuit you’d bought circa 2014. No ragrets. But in the meantime, grab a VB from the fridge, blow up and fill that inflatable pool in the backyard, lay back, and keep dreaming.

                                          Source

Your great great ancestors are probably laughing in their graves. Night Noodle Markets? Please. If we wanted to get a dumpling in true "street style" we'd pop down to John Street on a Sunday morning. Better yet, we'd pop over to our bà ngoại's and light fry some ourselves straight out of the industrial stash stored in the freezer. None of this waiting in line / having no seat / terrible lighting for Instagram photos business. It probably wouldn't cost you half an hour of your Christmas Casual pay check at McDonalds either. "but sera ples" u cri everytiem. "All of my Instagram followers think I'm a hardcore foodie which means I HAVE to be seen at Hyde Park for some damn #goodfoodmonth hashtagging." Well, hipster friend of mine, I tip my conical Vietnamese bamboo hat to you. Your perseverance for food and commitment to the arts has inspired me to write a post in dedication to said month of good food. 

Culinary Carnivale, Fairfield

Um. Hold up a second. Is that a seashell bra? Guys, it's a fucking seashell bra. It's things like this that just restore my faith in humanity. Western Sydney, you just get me. This girl is at a food festival and she's just like I know it's October and I'm in Western Sydney but I'm gonna wear a seashell bra because seashell bra. It's like all our Victoria's Secret, Little Mermaid, and food dreams all come true and at the same time. Aw yas.

Parklands Food Festival, Horsley Park

Ermigerd guise. My spidey senses are already tingling at this one. Think. Of. The. Photos. Think Of. The. Brokeh. I'm just done. I can't even right now. The white girl in me can't even deal with those circle lights in the background that are blurred and getting to me like the Gossip Girl opening sequence. And then the outdoor beach chairs. And then that tent that's all illuminating and glowing and just. My feels are going off guys. I mean while all my friends post a cliche photo of the lanterns at the Noodle Markets I'm just gonna rock up in all my Western Sydney glory with an outdoor barn that looks like it's glowing in the dark. Fml. Someone order me a pair of Hunters from the Iconic because I'm gonna check this location in as Glastonbury.

Indulge Food and Wine Festival, Penrith
Woah, woah, woah. Back up now. Is this real life? Have I just encountered a true dining experience out in the West? Once again Western Sydney proves to be just as on par with everyone else. Just like that quiet girl that everyone underestimated in high school who came out of nowhere and started succeeding in life post HSC, Western Sydney is your quiet over achiever. Don't underestimate us. This under appreciated side of town has so much more than you think. One day it'll even come and #stealyoman. Uh huh hunni.

Parramatta Lanes, Parramatta

And now you've reached this paragraph in disappointment knowing that it's already over for 2014. All that's ringing in your head is it's too late (to apologise). And before we get any "wow everyone knew about Parramatta lanes and now the West Things team are covering it. They're supposed to have their head in the game", no we did not not know about Parramatta Lanes. We may or may not have just procrastinated through the last week of blog posts and left the "Parramatta Lanes" blog post sit to rot in our drafts pile until we had to convert it into something else because it expired in newsworthiness. But in true Western Sydney style when things are old, we're gonna bring it up anyway. ust like every Bulldogs supporter does when they're reminded of the grand final they didn't win in 2014. Oops did I just politically align myself. Oh man, preparing for the onset of rioting that's going to happen on this page. Brb moving to inland China and erasing my identity. 

Images sourced from: Discover Parramatta, Fairfield City Council, Western Sydney Parklands

There’s still a whole day to get through before the weekend and we feel your pain guys - that mid week slump is hitting us hard too. No one understands the pain of having to peel your eyelids open to the obnoxious ring of the alarm more than a fellow Westie who has an hour and a half long commute to look forward to every morning just to get to a 9 am class. And as if that isn't enough of a struggle, when we get there, we’re expected to pretend that the last 90 minutes on the western line didn’t just suck out our souls… they want us to concentrate, they want us to participate, they want us to be excited about life and learning! While you're at it, did ya want our first born kid too?!

In these troubled times, there is but one saving grace. It is not the hero our lazy asses deserve but a hero that we sure as hell need. What am I speaking of you ask? I’m referring to that golden elixir our Ethiopian friends so kindly discovered in the 14^th century; our beloved bestower of productivity and probably the backbone of the economy*: Coffee
*ok, maybe not

With all the hoo-ha we hear about the coffee in inner city cafés (which to be fair, are doing are a pretty good job of brewing the stuff) it’s easy to forget that great coffee exists outside of the confines of the CBD.  In fact, it’s available right here in the western burbs! As usual, #westthings has you sorted on where the good stuff is. Each of the places we've included below are known for their dedication to the bean - and yes, we're just as excited as you are!

Read on to check out our tried and tested spots for great quality coffee:

Circa Espresso, Parramatta
http://circaespresso.com.au/

21 Wentworth St, Parramatta NSW 2150

Zokoko , Emu Heights 

http://www.zokoko.com

3/84-90 Old Bathurst Rd, Emu Heights NSW 2750

Mars Hill Cafe, Parramatta
http://www.marshillcafe.com.au/

331 Church St, Parramatta NSW 2150

The Blend, Toongabbie

http://www.theblend.com.au/

17 Portico Parade, Toongabbie, NSW, 2146

Three Ropes Espresso, Parramatta
https://www.facebook.com/ThreeRopesEspresso
10a Darcy St, Parramatta NSW 2150

Images sourced from: Circa Espresso, Zokoko, Urban Spoon, Afoofable, The Blend

Brunch. It ain’t quite breakfast, and it ain’t quite lunch…

... But according to urbandictionary.com, It’s reserved for the pretentious that sip tea and have jam? LOL please. It’s universally known that brunch is the perfect 11am cure for that hangover you’re battling from getting crunk on a Friday night. It’s the morning therapy session with your closest friends to rehash some of those (un)fortunate events from the night before (including that questionable hook-up). And us non-pretentious asses aren’t about to travel to Surry hills or Newtown just for bacon and eggs and a cappuccino that’d probably cost 3x the amount it’d normally cost if we ate local!

The Western subs are definitely stepping it up in the fancy brunch department, from the beautiful, Café Harvest in Bonnyrigg, our own "Grounds of Alexandria," to Café Lattetude in Penrith, that possibly do the biggest "big breakfast" in the West. There are some mouth-wateringly, amazing brunch spots that'll convince you this in-between space between breakfast and lunch, is your new favourite part of the day! And most of these places are affordable, local cafés & small restaurants that don't overcharge for a perfectly poached egg. 

Best thing about brunch is you don’t have to decide between sweet and savoury. Want eggs? Get a pancake on the side. Have your heart set on waffles? Add some bacon, baby! No matter how late you hit the sheets last night, or how absolutely turnt you got, rest easy. You haven’t wasted your day because these Western Sydney brunch restaurants and café’s will still be there when you wake up :-)

Circa Espresso, Parramatta

Café Mambo, Giraween

Café Harvest, Bonnyrigg

The Blend, Toongabbie

Paper Planes, Parramatta

Big Tree House, Rydalmere

Café Lattetude, Penrith

Cassandra's on Queen, St Mary's

Baron Café, Castle Hills

Images and Gifs sourced from: Circa Espresso, Café Mambo, Café Harvest, The Blend, Paper Planes, Big Tree House, Café Lattetude, Cassandra's on Queen, Baron Café, Huffington Post

So you've given it a lot of thought lately. You've known him/her for quite a long time now. You think to yourself, I'm a little bit older now and it's time. You're ready to take the next step. It's time for you to speak up. But you're a little worried - you know they're a little frigid when it comes to "new things" and the only "experimenting" on their mind is the titration you've gotta do for your chemistry class (and let's face it. Getting that water just pink was hard enough when you come from a broke ass high school in the Western subs where your pipettes just. weren't. accurate.) The struggle.

Before you read on thinking "The day has finally come. The West Things team have finally branched out to dating advice because I really can't tell anymore if the missus, Krystal, is sick and tired of the $10 schnitty at the local pub?!" To you my friends I apologise because, nope, where I'm heading with this article is just a little different. 

We all have that one friend who's a little bit scared to try new things. They prefer "Modern Australian" to "Indonesian" cuisine. They think chow mien constitutes "Chinese food". They internally cringe at the thought of chicken feet or ox tongue or *gasp* balut (duck embryo). Oh hell no. I just went there. Unchartered territory. Oh the controversy of it all. Too far, Sarah, too far. 

And right now you're pretending that the thought of this food disgusts you when secretly you know deep down inside that it's not all that bad because your parents made it for you growing up. Unless, of course, you are that (poor and sheltered) friend to which I say: live a little, take a chance, live on the edge, be a little ruthless. Or, in the words of my tacky and cheesy thirteen year old persona on Bebo:

•?((¯°·._.• ιη тнε εη∂ ωε σηℓү яεgяεт тнε cнαηcεs ωε ∂ι∂η'т тαкε •._.·°¯))؟• 

- insert photo of two white girls with their bikini tops off standing on a bridge overlooking traffic through the wired fence -

This post calls for you to bring out the inner #yolo in you. You know that feeling you sometimes get at 3am when you're on Expedia looking at one way tickets to Europe thinking yeah, I'll drop it all, I'll just take 12 months off of my life and go travelling? Today, I challenge you all to channel that inner Beyonce in you and take a risk. Try something a little "exotic" and venture where no white 35 year old male has ever ventured before: to the streets of Western Sydney where everything is ethnic. 

I'll even spoon feed you and tell you which places to check out. (And no, I'm not even going to lie and pretend that I'm not secretly admiring my pun. Oh the shade you should all be throwing my way right now...)

Sabu, Parramatta (Japanese)

PAZAR Food Collective, Canterbury (Turkish)

Papparich, Parramatta (Malaysian)

Holy Basil, Fairfield (Laos/Thai)

Jasmine 1, Auburn (Lebanese)

Meze Me, Rouse Hill (Moroccan)

Enigma at the Piazza, Castle Hill (Greek)

Anais Restaurant, Castle Hill (Persian)

SE Jong Korean BBQ Buffet, Campsie (Korean)

Images sourced from: Enigma at the Piazza, Holy Basil, Jasmine 1 now, Meze Me, Papparich Parramatta, PAZAR Food Collective, Sabu, Sydney Food Lovers, Urbanspoon.