Saturday, 25 October 2014

Parramatta's Getting a Beach. Say WHAT!?!?!1

So, this news is just as random as it is for you, than it was for me. But as the title implies, apparently, Parra’s planning to get their own city beach. And no, I ain’t talking bout the twelvie store ‘CityBeach,’ aka the one that always smells like fake sand, has racks upon racks of bright neon Roxy swimsuits and never seems to stop selling those overly chunky DC shoes circa 2008 (yea, u kno the ones). I’m talkin’ bout a beach beach. Aka one with real sand, where you can relax, lie down and bask in the sun. Don’t think it’s legit? Well check out this artist’s impression of the future city beach along the Parramatta River I stole (along with the original story) from Parramatta advertiser lol.

Looks heqtiq ay. According to the article, Parra council’s going to transform Parra river, which is if you’ve ever visited: dirty, smelly, and always full of condoms ew, to this super relaxing, umbrella filled, clean and modern bankside. They also claim to have a strategy to bring the river to life with paddle-boats and kayaks, an open plaza, mini parks, terraced seating and activities such as outdoor cinemas. Eshays brahhhhh. But why the hell in Parramatta you say. Of all the places!? Well, tbh, Parra’s been steppin’ it up HEAPS lately with numerous developments, and if they’re going to transform that nasty ass river to our own little Bondi in the west, then I sure ain’t gna question them! As far as I know, if it’ll save me the 1.5-2hr commute that it normally takes me to get to the beach, then I’m all for it!

Parra river currently                                                                                                                                                                 Source

Parra river future prospects, including pedestrian plazas and terraced seating                                                          Source

But before you get all excited all you lads and lasses out there, I have some TERRIBLE news… The plan is being looked at from the perspective of a 30 year time frame. And let’s be real, if it’s a development in the west, you’re looking at it being unveiled during the thirtieth year at the earliest. Ugh. Was too good to be true right. At least that now gives you an extra 30 years to work on your Summer body? So once you’ve hit 50 and the beach is finally finished, you know you’re gna fkn slay when you walk down the bankside in that bright neon Roxy swimsuit you’d bought circa 2014. No ragrets. But in the meantime, grab a VB from the fridge, blow up and fill that inflatable pool in the backyard, lay back, and keep dreaming.



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